Minute With Mallon: - Behavior Bias: Seeing Beyond!
Welcome to Minute with Mallon!
Something I Taught:
Recently I was sitting with a client who owns a company as he passionately recounted an incident involving one of his employees. You could feel his frustration; his emotions were running high! He firmly believed that the employee had committed a grave mistake. But knowing the employee, I had a few doubts about the way the situation was being described to me. As I listened, I couldn't help but think about the Fundamental Attribution Error, a concept in social psychology that sheds light on our tendency to jump to conclusions about others.
The fundamental attribution error is a thinking bias. It refers to the tendency of people to attribute the behavior of others to internal factors, such as their personality, character, or disposition, while underestimating the influence of external situational factors.
Sometimes when we observe someone's actions and we think they're wrong, we often attribute those actions to their inherent qualities (What an idiot!) rather than considering the external circumstances that may have influenced their behavior (It was the situation's fault).
This bias can lead to misunderstandings and wrong judgments of others, as it overlooks the impact of situational factors on a person's behavior.
And it can cause the situation to escalate! 💣
A good example of this is when someone cuts you off in traffic. Many times our internal conversation might go something like this:
"You idiot! Who taught you to drive? Your grandmother???” Then we flip them off, and everything escalates. We attribute them cutting us off to their genetics, or being a total lunatic. (Of course, I've never done that personally, but I've heard it sometimes happens. 😜)
But when we cut someone off, it was just an accident. "They were in my blind spot. I didn't see them. Why is that person so mad at me?" It was the situation’s fault.
We all do it from time to time. But why do we do it? The #1 reason is that our brains naturally seek to simplify complex information.
Attributing behavior to internal factors (e.g., personality traits) is simpler than considering the many external situational factors that could influence behavior.
In short, it's easier! So slow down, look at the situation, and think it through logically.
And one simple word of caution:
This is a tool! It will help you be a more rational human being. But now that you know this, you can't use it on your spouse. 😜 I can tell you from experience that my wife Sandy is not impressed with the vast quantity of random tools I've accumulated when I use them to try to make a point.
She just rolls her eyes… 🙄
… Which, come to think of it, seems to be a personality disorder she's afflicted with… 🤭
Pray for me… :)
Something to Ponder:
"The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions."
Leonardo da Vinci
Something I Learned:
Earlier this week, I was at church and ran into one of my best friends in the world, Jason Auyer. A finer man I do not know. He's like another son to me.
We were talking about the sermon and our conversation led us to talking about how so many people of the Bible just kept moving forward. Whatever setbacks they were faced with, they kept going. They persisted. Day after day, year after year. Decade after decade!
Moses was in the wilderness 40 years.
40 Years!
But we just read the few sentences that state this in the Bible without truly appreciating the vastness of what his 40 years must have looked like. I mean 40 years ago I was only 50! 😹
And think about this. Paul was:
● Persecuted
● Beaten
● Stoned
● Shipwrecked
● Imprisoned
● Robbed
● And often went hungry.
But both he and Moses continued on because they had a purpose that was bigger than they were.
At a certain point in our conversation I brought up something that we've talked about in these newsletters:
You don't create your future. You create your habits, and your habits create your future.
Habits are things you do somewhat unconsciously over time. If you pick the correct ones, you'll flourish. Pick the wrong ones, and they'll ruin your life.
And then this thought came to mind:
To be successful you have to embrace the "Habit of Grind."
I've never had that thought before, but immediately Jason and I knew it to be true. You grind until you succeed.
I can see in Jason's life how the Habit of Grind has made him one of the most successful business owners, husbands, and fathers that I know. I've had the honor of working with him now for 10 years. I've seen the seemingly insurmountable challenges he's faced. And I've seen him never give up. One after another, the challenges have tumbled due to his persistence.
Like the Bible's enduring figures, Moses and Paul, who faced adversity and stayed the course, triumph comes from unwavering commitment to the right habits and goals.
So embrace the grind, persist daily, and witness your future being shaped by the habits you nurture.
And just look at the friends you have who are like my friend Jason. They're proof that the "Habit of Grind" leads to remarkable success.
Something I Saw:
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Hope you have an incredible week!
Robert
