Minute With Mallon: The Power of Suggestion!
Something I Taught:
Recently, several members of my family were at a restaurant and our waitress walked by and said,
“Is everything terrific?”
Not okay.
Not fine.
Not alright.
Terrific. Period.
I pointed it out to the people I was eating with because it was subtle—and smart. Her question didn’t just ask for feedback; it suggested an expectation.
Then my wife Sandy (who used to be a surgical nurse) added this:
We were trained to never ask a patient before surgery,
“Are you feeling nauseous or queasy?”
Why?
Because the question itself plants a suggestion.
If you ask it, the patient may suddenly think, Should I be?
That’s when it hit me—leaders do this all the time, often without realizing it.
Our words don’t just communicate information.
They frame the experience.
For example:
“Are you overwhelmed?”
“Is this too much for you?”
“What’s going wrong right now?”
These questions are usually well-intended. We’re trying to be caring or proactive.
But they quietly guide people’s thinking toward stress, problems, and defensiveness.
Compare those with:
“What’s feeling most manageable right now?”
“Where are you making good progress?”
“What’s working well that we should build on?”
Same situation.
Very different mindset.
I was working with a client who leads a team of 12, and he shared with me that he always opened one-on-ones with:
“What’s not working right now?”
His team showed up guarded. Defensive. Problem-focused. We changed just one sentence.
He started asking:
“What’s working well right now that we should build on?”
Nothing else changed. But the conversations did.
People relaxed.
They spoke with more confidence.
They took ownership instead of explaining away issues.
That’s the power of suggestion.
Great leaders don’t just solve problems—they shape thinking.
And often, they do it with something as simple as a well-chosen question.
So this week, listen to yourself.
Not just to what you say—but to what your words suggest.
Then change one question, one phrase, or one habit that shapes how others think because of you.
Something to Ponder:
"The best moments in my life always happen at the end of my comfort zone."
Jose Andres
Something I Learned:
A few months ago I was told of a book called "The Disease to Please" by Harriet B. Braiker PhD. It's a powerful read for anyone who struggles with overcommitting, avoiding conflict, or tying their worth to approval. It helps you understand why you people-please and gives practical tools to set healthier boundaries without guilt.
I'm learning that people-pleasing is largely driven by emotional fears: fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of conflict or confrontation, fear of criticism, fear of being alone, and fear of anger.
If any of those resonate with you, I'd highly recommend that you pick up the book and get some help. There is a test early in the book to help you determine where you most need help.
It's a new year! You don't have to stay stuck!
Something I Saw:
Heaven???
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Hope you have an incredible week!
Robert
